Forgiveness: Set Yourself Free

Forgiveness is love that can only emerge when the giver has first suffered harm. There is power and joy in forgiveness—and, as each one of us knows so well, it is a deeply challenging form of love. Forgiveness is about letting go of pain and anger. It restores to us a sense of the essential goodness of life, boosts mood, reduces rage, alleviates depression, lowers stress hormones and preserves close relationships. Answer these twenty questions to find out about your own capacity for forgiveness.

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A Bit About This Quiz

The quiz you are about to take is adapted from The Love and Longevity scale, which was created and tested by Dr. Stephen Post and colleagues of his at the University of Miami. It allows you to self-rate ten different giving behaviors. Score yourself now, and then again as you change and grow in your ways of giving. Please try to click the one option that best reflects your opinion about whether or not each statement below describes you or experiences that you have had. There are no correct answers, so please respond as honestly as possible to each one.  To learn more about weaving generous behavior into your own life and becoming a happier, healthier person, buy the book HERE.

1. I don't hold grudges when one of my family members does something that hurts me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

2. I find it easy to forgive when someone in my family harms me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

3. I try to set an example of forgiveness in my family.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

4. I have grudges against loved ones that I've held on to for months or years.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

5. It is not very easy to forgive when a family member hurts me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

6. I never hang on to grudges when one of my friends does something that hurts me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

7. I never let my anger simmer when a friend treats me unfairly.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

8. My friends would say that I am a forgiving person.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

9. It is not very easy to forgive when a friend hurts me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

10. When a friend hurts my feelings, I act coldly toward him or her for quite a while.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

11. When a coworker or neighbor does something hurtful, I work hard to forgive.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

12. I never hold on to a grudge when a neighbor or coworker hurts my feelings.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

13. I try to set an example of forgiveness in my community and place of work.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

14. When someone in my community hurts my feelings, sooner or later I will get even.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

15. My neighbors and coworkers would probably say that I'm a vindictive person.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

16. I encourage people I know to view the conflicts around the world in a more forgiving way.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

17. Forgiveness should be a much bigger part of foreign relations.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

18. When our nation is attacked, revenge is the best way to solve the problem.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

19. We should do more to retaliate when endangered by a foreign foe.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

20. For the most part, it is impossible for nations to forgive their former enemies.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree