Listen: Offer Deep Presence

Listening activates the part of our brains hardwired for empathy, helps quiet down the stress response in others, lets us provide loving care simply by being present quietly, helps us truly nurture our children and raise them well, and saves us all from a feeling of existential aloneness. Listening is actually a miraculous ability that is very uniquely human. Answer these twenty questions to find out about your own capacity for listening to others.

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A Bit About This Quiz

The quiz you are about to take is adapted from The Love and Longevity scale, which was created and tested by Dr. Stephen Post and colleagues of his at the University of Miami. It allows you to self-rate ten different giving behaviors. Score yourself now, and then again as you change and grow in your ways of giving. Please try to click the one option that best reflects your opinion about whether or not each statement below describes you or experiences that you have had. There are no correct answers, so please respond as honestly as possible to each one.  To learn more about weaving generous behavior into your own life and becoming a happier, healthier person, buy the book HERE.

1. I am careful to give my undivided attention to family members who are talking with me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

2. When one of my loved ones needs my attention, I really try to slow down and give them the time they need.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

3. My loved ones know that if they have concerns, they can come to me and I'll give them the attention they need.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

4. It's hard for me to slow down and listen when my family members need to talk to me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

5. I sometimes fail to notice my family members' needs and concerns because I don't take time to pay attention.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

6. I listen attentively when a friend needs to talk with me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

7. When one of my friends needs my attention, I try to slow down and give them the time they need.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

8. My friends feel comfortable sharing their problems with me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

9. It's hard for me to slow down and listen when my friends need to get my advice or share their feelings.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

10. My friends would probably agree that I'm not the world's best listener.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

11. People in the neighborhood or at work seek me out to talk about what is bothering them.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

12. My neighbors and coworkers know that they can come to me if they need to share their feelings with someone.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

13. I am known in my neighborhood or workplace as someone who makes time to pay attention to others' problems.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

14. I probably would not notice if a neighbor or coworker had a problem that they wanted to discuss with me.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

15. Few, if any, of my coworkers or neighbors would come to me for advice or sympathy if they had a problem.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

16. I try to give people time and attention when they need to talk to somebody, even if it's a complete stranger.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

17. I try to really pay attention to problems that are going on in the world.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

18. I'm usually in such a rush that I can't take time to talk with strangers.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

19. Frankly, I don't have the time to try to understand problems occurring around the world.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree  

20. I'm so distracted by all of the things I have to do that I can't take time to understand the problems of strangers.

Strongly Disagree   Disagree   Slightly Disagree   Slightly Agree   Agree   Strongly Agree